Eff This... I'm Moving

Gahhhh, It’s hottt!! Man, it’s like a hundred outside and it’s only May! It seems like hundred degree temperatures just stopped and it’s going again. Damn global warming. Y’know, I think I’m just going to move. I’m sick of it being so hot. I’m tired of desert landscaping, keeping my windows closed, and getting stabbed by cacti. The big needles are no problem, but the little red ones are a bitch. I pick like 90% of them out, and then I itch the rest thinking they’ll just magically go away, but then I’m left with an itchy rash that lasts for days. Well… that doesn’t ever actually happen, but it totally could! I don’t want to risk it. I’m effing moving.

And where do I wanna go? I’ll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talking about a little place called Aspen. (that’s totally a dumb & dumber quote)

Well, maybe not Aspen. It’s too cold there, but Colorado sounds good, and since Colorado Springs has Colorado in the name, that’s where I’m going. Eff this heat. I’m getting my shit packed and I’ll be there in 3 weeks.