Where Can I Get a Monocle?

A few weeks ago I developed a bit of blurriness in my left eye. My right eye is perfectly fine. So I’m thinking I’m about getting a monocle. I’ll look like a pirate with a round glass eye patch. That will be awesome.

But problem number 1 is that I can’t find any place to get a prescription monocle. It looks like Lens Crafters discontinued their monocle line in 2007.

The second problem is that I don’t even know if there’s anything permanently wrong with my eye. I should probably go to an optometrist first. If only I knew how to work my health insurance..