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I Missed My Tens of Thousands

Posted on August 27th, 2007 Filed under Injustice, Things

You’ve had ideas for inventions that you never acted upon and later found on store shelves. It’s a sad, disappointing moment when you realize that you could have been the one to make tens of thousands of dollars had you taken any action to bring your idea to the world. This morning, I experienced the same within a passing glance while searching for a tent on REI’s website.

One fateful New Years Eve, in downtown Tempe, I witnessed a woman with pants to her ankles, back against a wall, urinating next to a bar on a crowded street. This made me realize just how lucky the male persuasion is, for being endowed in a way that lends itself perfectly for discreet public urination. We can hide in the shadows, and can even break up the monotony by drawing pictures or signing our names.

What if there was a device that a woman could use to redirect the offending effects away from her body? Then she could reap the rewards of man. At that moment, it was my calling. I was to build the device to do just this.. but the moment passed. I began to use it as a joke, I forgot about the whole thing, and this morning I found it for sale for $19.95 through REI.

This is almost exactly what I had in mind. The general design is the same. It’s small enough to be carried in a purse and it can be easily cleaned. Also notice that this is currently on backorder. It’s a truly heartbreaking sight.

At the same time, I am happy to see this hit the market. Ladies, the whole idea sounds disgusting, but I picture this to be something many would consider outwardly disgusting. As a discreet convenience, it may enrich your life. Do you really want to be the girl going number 1 on the side of a building on Mill Ave? Just pull out your Sani-Fem Freshette F.U.D. and hit the shadows… or you could walk across the street and use the port-o-let.

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