Happy MLK Day!

Some of you may be aware that today is MLK day. Most of you had to work, but I’m sure you know someone that was bragging about how they could stay home and watch soaps, sitcom reruns and infomercials all day while you were out working your non-government 9-to-5. I did some research into this holiday (while I was at work), and I found out a few facts.

First and foremost, MLK is not the cool way to spell out “milk”. MLK is an acronym. That’s an arrangement of letters that make up the first letter of each word in a series of words. In this case, it stands for Martin Luther King. Get it.. MLK.. Martin Luther King Jr. (Where that J come from?)

MLK was a great man. He spoke on civil rights for colored people. Oh, that’s another acronym.. NAACP.. National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. When I think colored people, I think Indians.. not the dot kind, but the feather kind because they are reddish. Most other people range between cream and brown. I guess Asians are considered yellow, but they just look white to me. Some people even look straight-up black. They are certainly not colored, but the NAACP says otherwise. If you haven’t already gotten it, black people, not Indians, are the people that MLK stood up for.

My first thought was “MLK? Don’t you mean ALF.. Abraham Fucking Lincoln!?! (Eww.. not Abraham Lincoln Fucking)” No no no no. Get this… MLK was black, himself! Wait a minute here.. This is getting too long to read. Lemme drop this into bulleted points. It will make this seem not quite so long…

• MLK was a black man. In a time that black men were ignored, spat upon and appreciated only when donning a trumpet, MLK was able to spread a message that the American people of all ethnicities were more than happy to hear… from a black man!
• MLK once gave a speech where he spread the immortal words, “I have a dream.” It was not a dream about how he was being chased by man with a knife but then fell in a hole and never stopped falling and then found that it interpreted to a signification that he was to overcome his adversaries with ease. It was close, though. He had a conscious dream that blacks and whites would coexist harmoniously as equals. This is a dream that has largely come true some 45 years later.
• MLK was ruthlessly murdered in the 1960’s. Despite what Reefer Madness would have us believe, this was the act of a redneck with a gun, not a pot smoking hippie that the ’60’s were oh so well known for. In all actuality, it may not have been a redneck with a gun. No one really knows for sure who was really behind the murder of MLK.
• MLK was very much interested in the Indian culture… not feather Indians, but the dot Indians of East. Mahatma Gandhi was a huge inspiration.
• MLK is actually a very cool way to spell out “milk”.

So that’s the history of MLK. The rest is history. Prior to his speech, black people had freedom by government, but MLK was the forefather of cultural freedom. After his works, a cultural sea-change came about that eventually brought black people to equality as human beings to the masses.

I will leave you all with some additional facts about black people in general, not just MLK himself:

• Black people carry a genetic trait that is genetically traced back 1.2 millions years. White skin is estimated to have come into play as early as 6,000 to 12,000 years ago.
• Barack Obama is black, but Bill Clinton was the first black president.
• Some feather Indians were black. I read a whole book about this. Indians accepted blacks into their tribes as they were escaping the slave trade.
• Black people are loud and can’t swim. Many of them, anyway.. moreso than any other culture. I’m not a racist. Lay off.
• George Bush doesn’t care about black people.
• Black people don’t get skin cancer and some are even immune to malaria.
• Sheneneh Jenkins, the owner/operator from Sheneneh’s Sho’ Nuff Hair Salon on the hit show Martin, was played by a black man.

Black people were involved with many more important aspects of our American culture. All I got out of Black History Month was some stuff about Harriet Tubman and her bitchin’ underground railroad. The rest, I can thank Wikipedia, and my interest in why MLK day results in half my company taking the day off and not me. If you were able to truly celebrate the day away from work, I hope you spent your time watching In Living Color and Sanford and Son reruns.. not the effing Young and the Restless.